Common hurdles to escaping an abusive relationship:

Women stay in abusive relationships because of many contributing factors.

Lack of Proper Resources:

1. Most women have at least one dependent child.

2. Most women do not have access to any type of money for escaping.

3. Many women have no property that is solely theirs.

4. Many women are not employed outside of the home.

5. A woman fears she cannot provide a good living for her and her children.

6. Women who leave fear being charged with desertion, and her losing children and joint assets.

Traditional Thinking:

Many women do not believe divorce is a viable alternative.

They have failed as a woman and mother if they have failed to maintain a marriage.

Many women feel isolated by their abusers. They are taken away from their families, or they hide from their family and friends to keep from having to talk about the abuse they are experiencing. This isolation contributes to the sense of nowhere to go and no one to talk to, so they feel alone.

Many women try to make up excuses for their abuser's behavior by blaming stress, alcohol, problems at work, unemployment and other things rather than tell the truth.

Many women are socialized to believe that they are responsible for making their marriage work.

Many women believe that as a single parent they cannot supply the children what they need to survive, and that even a father who is abusive to their mother is better than no father at all.

Legal Resources:

Counselors and clergy are often trained to make a marriage work, rather than to focus on and stopping the abuse.

Most police officers do not provide support to women. They treat violence as a domestic dispute instead of a crime where one person is physically attacking another person.

Police may try to deter women from filing charges, because of past cases of stopping the violence and women go back to their abusive spouses.

A lot of abused women end up going back to their abusive spouse because of the harassment and stalking, rather than wonder whether she is being followed. Despite the issuing of a restraining order, there is little to prevent a released abuser from returning and repeating the assault. Despite greater public awareness and the increased availability of housing for women fleeing violent partners, there are not enough shelters or legal authority to keep women safe.

Prosecutors are often reluctant to prosecute cases, and judges rarely give the maximum punishment to convicted abusers. Probation or a fine is usually the punishment they will get.

The abuser rarely beats the woman all the time. When he is not violent, he comes off as being "the love of her life" he may try to make his wife feel so loved and cared about. She will then start to feel that he is a good man, and stay with him because she will usually use the excuse that he is just "releasing stress."

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)