Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that one person exerts over another as a means of control. Domestic violence may include physical violence, threats, sexual and economical abuse, isolation, and intimidation.

Frequently, the abuser uses the children as a means of manipulation, to threaten the victims: by harming or taking the children; by forcing the children to participate in the abuse of the victim, and threatening to harm or take the children away. The abuser also uses visitation as an opportunity to harass or monitor the victim, or prolonging custody battles to punish them.

The abuser often invent complex rules about what the victims or the children can or cannot do, and force victims to abide by them even though they are constantly changing the rules to suit their needs.

Domestic violence is not defined by specific physical acts, but by a combination of psychological, and social factors. In some families, the abuser may routinely beat their spouses until they require medical attention. In other families, the physical violence may have occurred in the past.

The abuser may put to use power and control over their partners simply by looking at them a certain way to remind them of what happened the last time he/she was angry. In still other families, the violence may be not have a pattern or interval, but may have the effect of controlling the abused partner. Some doctors define domestic abuse as a pattern of interaction in which one intimate partner is forced to change his or her behavior in response to the threats or abuser, to keep from making them angry.

Without proper guidance, battering can and usually does escalate. It often begins with behaviors like threats, name calling, violence when only she is present, for example, punching their fist through a wall, throwing things, causing damage to objects or pets etc. It may escalate to restraining, pushing, slapping, and/or pinching. The battering may include punching, kicking, biting, sexual assault, and throwing things. Finally, it may become life threatening with serious behaviors such as punching, choking, breaking bones, even possibly the use of weapons.

Mental Abuse: The abuser's psychological or mental violence can include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from family and friends, take away all physical and economic resources, telling the woman what she can and cannot wear, will not allow her she cannot wear makeup, telling her where she can and cannot go, what time to be back, calling several times to make sure she is where she says she is going to be, picks out her clothes for her, etc.

Physical Abuse: The abuser's physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from something like bruising to more severe cases where he could possibly kill someone. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts which grows into more frequent and serious attacks, such as pushing etc as explained in the first part of these pages.

Sexual Abuse: Physical attack by the abuser is often accompanied by sexual violence, for example the woman is forced to have sexual intercourse with her abuser or take part in unwanted sexual activity.