Does your boyfriend/husband do the following to you?

1. Embarrass you by shouting at you, calling you names or putting you down?
2. Use intimidation or threats to get what he wants?
3. Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
4. Acts out in a way that scares you?
5. Put down your accomplishments or goals?
6. Prevent you from doing things you want, like spending time with your friends or family?
7. Makes all the decisions?
8. Call you several times or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
9. Controls what you do, who you see, talk to on the phone, where you go and for how long?
10. Tells you that you are nothing without him?
11. Tells you that you couldn't make it in the world without him?
12. Threaten you with guns, knives, or other weapons?
13. Threatens to commit suicide if you leave?
14. Threatens to kill you if you leave?
15. Treat you roughly, for example grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
16. Prevents you from getting a job?
17. Make you feel like there is no way out of your relationship with them?
18. Tells you that you are a bad parent, or threatens to take the children from you?
19. Takes your money, makes you ask for it, or refuses to give you money?
20. Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
21. Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
22. Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
23. Tells you that you are the reason for the way they are acting?
24. Threatens to hurt or DOES hurt your pets?

Do You feel any of the following?

1. Constantly make excuses to other people for your husband's behavior?
2. Sometimes feel scared of how your boyfriend/husband will act if you try to do something he doesn't want to do?
3. Try not to do anything that would cause an argument or make your husband angry?
4. Believe that you can help your boyfriend/husband to be less angry if you changed something about yourself?
5. Always do what your husband wants you to do instead of what you want?
6. Feel like no matter what you do, you will never make your boyfriend/husband happy with you?
7. Do you stay with your boyfriend/husband because you are afraid of what he would do if you broke up with him?

If any of the above mentioned are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Whether you realize this or not, you are being abused, and without some help, the abuse is going to continue.

The boyfriend/husband uses abuse such as this because he wants to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. He believes he is entitled to control you. Assault, battering and domestic violence are crimes.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)